sixteen players will vie for the illustrious and elusive Turtle.
Proving that redemption is for everyone, Monty "Monsignor" Walton has
enrolled in divinity school and will not participate this year.
Tracy Thompson will step off the milk carton to take Monty's place and
team up with Jon "Hairball" Lawler. Mark "Cueball" Kimmet will
take Monty's old spot with Randy "Cool Breeze" Gibson.
Michael "The Hoser" Moser is unable to go due to a pinched nerve in his
neck. The Hoser's partner, Greg "The Loguemeister" Logue, tried to
trade Norm Templeton a high draft pick for Templeton's partner, Dan "The
Man" Moore, but Moore couldn't clear waivers. Instead, Logue
was able to draft Andy "Leaf" Neely, a mild-mannered but
tenacious player who hopes to chop his way to the Turtle.
Also absent is Greg "Stone Cold" Goddard, former Turtle Slam champion.
Unable to participate due to rotator cuff surgery, Goddard's place as Toby
"Hoss Cartwright" Hyke's partner will be assumed by Michael
Wood's brother-in-law, Rob Shelor. The notoriously
camera-shy Shelor has not been photographed in twenty years, and
is rumored to be
the most interesting man in the world.
The legend of Danny "Depot Stove" Pressley continues to grow in the
telling. Returning as defending Turtle Slam Champion, Pressley
will be salivating for a repeat and all the endorsement deals that
go with it. He'll team with his usual partner, Dennis "Wilford
Brimley" McClane, whose desire for the Turtle is unparalleled.
Back for his second trip is Nathan "The Assassin" Nash, who
will once again team up with Wood. Nash caught Turtle fever
last year and will be hot on the reptile's tail again this year.
Rounding out the field are Richard "The Envy" Matlock and his partner,
Mike "Big Boy, Jr." King. King and Matlock have both tasted Turtle
paydirt, so they definitely are players to be reckoned with.
Click on a
player below to view his profile through 2011.